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take such a step [[underline]] unknown to Her. [[/underline]] I owe it to Her as my Mother, though I am too honest to affect asking for [[underline]] Her consent as it is not necessary. [[/underline]] Nor shall the most anxious wish of my Heart ever make me unjust or unreasonable. I am certain the Queen [[underline]] cannot approve [[/underline]] if [[underline]] She merely [[/underline]] thinks of my birth and Station, but that is [[underline]] the only reason [[/underline]] She can object to it, and I shall [[underline]] never [[/underline]] blame Her for it. But when She considers the Character of the Man, the faithfullness and [[underline]] length [[/underline]] of our attachment, and the struggles that I have been compelled to make, never retreating from any of my Duties, though suffering Martyrdom from [[underline]] anxiety of Mind, [[/underline]] and [[underline]] deprivation [[/underline]] of happiness. I am sure She will say [[underline]] long [[/underline]] and [[underline]] great [[/underline]] has been [[underline]] my trial and correct [[/underline]] has been [[underline]] my Conduct. [[/underline]] -- I am certain of the Affection of all my Brothers and Sisters and I love them too much to think that they will [[unclear]] my wishes, though [[underline]] they may [[/underline]] and with reason too have been better pleased had the Rank of the Person I love and wish to be united to been equal to my own. I shall not speak to them on the Subject as it will be time enough to do so if the Event turns out happily for [[underline]] us. [[/underline]] - I give You my honor that no one person knows of my writing this letter, not [[underline]] even Him [[/underline]] whose Case, and [[underline]] whose hopes [[/underline]] I plead with [[underline]] my own, [[/underline]] for I should not wish to cause Him one instant of additional anxiety - Knowing how many years He has suffered on my account. These my beloved Brother are the Genuine Sentiments of my Heart I have nothing to disguise upon the Subject having [[underline]] once [[/underline]] named it to You, but I will confess that I am
